Monday, October 31, 2011

10 Palindromes

1. kayak

2. level

3. madam

4. tenet

5. mom

6. refer

7. reviver

8. ewe

9. boob

10. deed

Friday, October 28, 2011

10 Memorable Quotes From My Extended Family

1. "It takes a tough woman to swallow some snuff."

2. "Al Gore never went to college, but he did invent the internet."

3. "How tacky. They don't even have a Wal-Mart in this town."

4. "If I were to get a job, and save a hundred dollars, and give it to your mother."

5. "Ya'll want some of this stew? I made a big pot, but B.T. won't touch the stuff."

6. "Ain't nobody told you sideburns was out of style? Well they're crooked."

7. "I got pulled over for a DWU. Driving While Ugly."

8. "I love you. I really do. I love you."

9. "You know you're not adopted. If we had the choice we would not have picked you."

10. "Joy to the World  'cause we don't want her."

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

10 Things That Say, "I'm an American."

1. Fireworks

2. Profiling

3. SUVs

4. Eagles

5. Dockers

6. Toby Keith

7. Football

8. Blue Bell

9. Wal-mart

10. Fried Fair Food

10 Words That Are Onomatopoeic

1. Buzz

2. Bang

3. Kapow

4. Zing

5. Whoosh

6. Slurp

7. Crunch

8. Hiss

9. Swish

10. Boom

Monday, October 24, 2011

10 Rare Sights I've Never Observed

1. UFO

2. Ghost

3. Bigfoot

4. Tree Octopus

5. Albino Moose

6. El Chupacabra

7. Frill Shark

8. Albino Dolphin

9. Yunnan Snow Monkey

10. Mothman

Friday, October 21, 2011

10 Morning Crosswalk Comments

1. "Does that beard keep your face warm?"

2. "Hey. What's up my man?"

3. "I bet you're cold."

4. "Can we cross?"

5. "You're becoming a permanent fixture around here."

6. "Are you hungry? I have an extra pop tart."

7. "Bet you wish you had a bigger coat."

8. "I saw you."

9. "Those are some big shoes."

10. "How are those girls?"

Thursday, October 20, 2011

10 Parts of the Body with Silent Letters

1. Knee

2. Wrist

3. Diaphragm

4. Palate

5. Large Intestine

6. Trachea

7. Fibrous Capsule

8. Calf

9. Knuckle

10. Wrinkle

Monday, October 17, 2011

10 Small Town Big Fun Weekend Experiences

1. Harvestfest

2. Chilli Cook off

3. Dunbar Gardens

4. Pumpkin Patch

5. Dixie Cafe

6. Farkle

7. Skipbo

8. Twisted Metal Action

9. Chicken Play Day

10. Panda Garden

10 Things I Say Exclusively On The Soccer Pitch

1. "El Centro!"

2. "Eighteen!"

3. "Man On!"

4. "It's a gentlemen's game."

5. "Settle it."

6. "Time."

7. "Just what you see."

8. "Can you give me 10 yards sir?"

9. "That was studs up."

10. "Have one!"

Friday, October 14, 2011

10 Things That No Longer Offend Me

1. Being asked to show my I.D.

2. Getting shown the finger by another driver after an apparent mistake on my part

3. Trash talking

4. Dead Rats

5. Honesty

6. Corrective Criticism

7. Beards

8. Cut Off Jean Shorts

9. PT Cruisers

10. Jem and the Holograms

Thursday, October 13, 2011

10 Things That Are Disappearing/Have Disappeared In Schools

1. Home Economics

2. Recess

3. Typing

4. Creativity

5. Social Studies

6. Science

7. Reality

8. Time for food consumption

9. Fitness

10. Fine Arts

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

10 Commonly Mispronounced Words

    Correct                        Incorrect

1. Pattern                         Patterin

2. Unbelievable               Undeblievable

3.Across                          Acrossed

4. February                      Febyuary

5. Especially                    Exspecially

6. Nuclear                        Nucular

7. Sherbet                         Sherbert

8. Recur                            Reoccur

9. Probably                        Probly

10. Regardless                   Irregardless

Monday, October 10, 2011

10 Race Horse Names Composed By Bella Rose

1. Lucky

2. Snowflake

3. Thunder

4. Lightning Rose

5. Nelly

6. Petunia

7. Waffle

8. Dust Rocket

9. Road Runner

10. Rush 'n' Rock 'it'

Friday, October 7, 2011

10 Jokes Written By People I Know (Not sure if all were written by the people who told them, but they made them their own.)

1. What's full of farts, but doesn't stink?    Your brain.   (Bella Kerby)

2. Why don't midgets become butchers?    The stakes are to high.  (Kevin Kerby)

3. Did you here about the gay midget?    He came out of the cupboard.  (Kevin Kerby)

4. What does a guy with two left feet wear to the beach?  Flip-Flips.  (Kevin Kerby)

5. What does Tammy Wynette do when it's hot out?    Stands by her fan.  (Abby Kerby)

6. What is the one thing a  Snuggie wearer says most often?  Man my ass is cold.  (Mason Kerby)

7. What was the chicken doing on the internet?  Checking its Face-bawk!  (Sulac)


8. Knock knock.  Who's there?  Banana. Banana who?   Just kidding!  (Amelia Kerby 3yrs.)

9. David Jukes tells this joke about a guy with a big giant orange for a head. This may be my favorite joke of all time. If you see him ask him to tell it.  (David Juukes)

10. Ask me if I'm an apple?  Are you an apple?  No.  (Lee Pearson)

Thursday, October 6, 2011

10 Jobs That No Longer Exist :(

1. Steve

2. Elevator Operator

3. Switchboard Operator

4. Milkman

5. Human Street Sweepers

6. Typewriter Repairman

7. Doorman

8. Paperboys on Bicycles

9. Bootleggers

10. Bathroom Attendants

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

10 Popular Responses To The Phrase "How are you?"

1. "Just fine. How are you?"

2. "Can't complain. No one would listen anyway."

3. "Just tired. That's all."

4. "Well I didn't see my name in the obits, so I'd say I'm having a good day."

5. "I'm straight."

6. "Peachy keen."

7. "Well I'm not in prison and I'm not dead. So I guess I'm doing pretty good."

8. "Just living the dream."

9. "I'm here."

10. "I'm making it."

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

10 Accessories Worn By The Woman Holding Todays Adopt A Pet Kitten on THV This Morning

1. A ring on every finger.

2. Hot pink nail polish

3. Hand Tattoo

4. Friendship Bracelet

5. Live Strong band

6. Watch

7. Band aid

8. Pink Frosty Lipstick

9. Multiple Earpiercings

10. Silly Bands

Monday, October 3, 2011

10 Men

1. X-Men

2. Men In Black

3. Just For Men

4. 3 Miles Of Men

5. Women

6. Men's Health

7. Men In Tights

8. Menopause

9. Men At Work

10. Madmen

Saturday, October 1, 2011

10 Things That Make Me Question One's Character

1. When someone says, "I don't like excuses, but..." followed by an excuse.

2. When someone says, "I'm not racist, but.." followed by a racist statement.

3. "I don't like to talk about people, but..." followed by some juicy gossip.

4. When dog owners allow their canines to crap in your yard and cover it with leaves rather than pick it up.

5. If someone is a New York Yankees fan.

6.When someone says, "I've got a college degree. I don't have time for this sh*t. Can I get you some more water."

7. When people cut in line at the grocery store and say, "I'm in a real big hurry." 

8. Spandex

9. Facebook

10. When employees leave their dirty dishes in the sink in the Teacher's Lounge.

10 Nicknames In Honor Of My Texas Rangers

1. Odibe "Young Again" Mcdowell

2. Juan "Gone" zales

3. Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez

4. Harold "Piece of Sh*t" Baines

5. Kenny Rogers - "The Gambler"

6. Nolan Ryan - "The Ryan Express"

7. Ruben Sierra - "El Indio"

8. Julio "Down by the Schoolio" Franco

9. Pete Incavilia - "Inky"

10. Kevin Mench - "Shrek"