1. If they say, "Man I hate this getting assessed, and property tax process just to get my tags renewed. In Texas you can just go get your car inspected, and they give you a new tag. Simple."
2. If you see someone weaving through the crowd at a Fugazi show saying, "Watch the beer, man. Watch the beer."
3. If they argue that Texas is bigger than Alaska. "I think they measured it wrong. There is no way Alaska is bigger. Besides it's not really part of the United States. Maybe it is bigger, but it's melting. It won't be bigger than Texas forever. Global Warming and sh*t.
4. If they say, "I don't know why you Arkansans hate us. We have no problem with you. Matter of fact, we don't even think about ya'll."
5. If you hear the comment, "The crappiest Mexican restaurant in Texas is still better than the best one in Arkansas."
6. If they have a tattoo of the state of Texas, A belt buckle with the seal of Texas, and a Remember the Alamo T-shirt on at the same time.
7. If someone has lived in Arkansas longer than they lived in Texas, but they still say, "Oh, I'm not from here."
8. You are at a bar, and someone says, "I been places where you can get Tecate in a can for 50 cents. Four dollars? You wanna kiss me first next time?"
9. If you hear, "How in the hell are you gonna have an Arkansan play a man from Tennessee in a movie about a Texas Treasure? I mean Billy Bob Thornton is cool and all, but he ain't Texan. Come to think of it neither is Davey Crockett, but at least he did some shit to help."
10. Finally, if someone says, "I'm not conceited, I'm just better than you."
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