1. While in timeout, Thomas Valverde taught me how to eat paper out of a spider web.
2. I learned that it is unpleasant when your mother sends a clown with braces to surprise you on your birthday.
3. If I peed on my nap mat, the teacher would rock me to sleep.
4. One of the teachers was probably about 85. She was full of demons. She forced me to eat spaghetti, by shoving it down my throat. So, she learned that if you force a child to eat, you will wind up with a face full of vomit.
5. I learned all the words to Highway to Hell, while riding to school in my oldest brother's car.
6. Even if you dip oreos into glue, it still does not taste like milk.
7. Boogers are not a delicacy, J.P.
8. Jesus loves me. This I know.
9. Tang has no nutritional value.
10. Daniel Browning is a cry baby.
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