1. Opens the fridge and looks no matter where he is.
2. Paces through the house while on the phone.
3. Rips phones out of the wall when he can't hear them.
4. Talks like my Uncle Tom a lot.
5. Whenever he sees a house for sale he says, "That's nice, I'm gonna buy that sucker."
6. Sells stuff on Ebay and checks the status every thirty minutes.
7. Chews fingernails.
8. Shows up at least 15 minutes early everywhere he goes.
9. Screeches the tires in his truck.
10. Sends me texts about how much he hates his cell phone.
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