Monday, January 31, 2011

10 Things I Wish I Never Said

1.  "Sure, I'll play rugby."

2.  "I'll help you move."

3.  I picked up a new word at school and when my Dad called me in for dinner I said, "Okay, faggot."

4.  "Sure, Jesus, I'll go to a Latin Hip Hop club with you."

5.  When the policeman pulled me over and said, "The eyes never lie."  I responded emphatically, "Yeah, they do."

6. When I made out with Brian Kelly's girlfriend, I said, "Hey, she kissed me first."

7.  After my first real kiss, I said, "That wasn't as good as I remember."

8.  When the sister of my first kiss leaned in to kiss me, I accidentally farted and said, "Keep trying to kiss me and I'll keep farting."

9.  At Kroger when some ladies told my baby, "Your daddy's ignoring you."  I said, "I'm not ignoring her, I'm trying to hurry to get way from you crazy bitches."

10.  "Sure Trey, I'll go to Barnes and Noble with you."

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