1. Han Solo is much cooler than Jean-Luc Picard.
2. Chewbacca is a better co pilot than Spock.
3. Star Wars has the ultimate villain in Darth Vader.
4. The Force is more powerful than Spock's death grip.
5. Lightsabers
6. Star Wars has better music.
7. Yoda
8. Star Wars has more realistic robots.
9. Ted Kaczynsci was a Star Trek fan.
10. Star Wars led us to Spaceballs
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
10 Things To Do On A Rainy Day
1. Sleep
2. Read a book
3. Catch up on your favorite television series
4. Build a fort in your living room.
5. Finish your autobiography.
6. Write a song.
7. Take on a baking challenge.
8. Dance Party!
9. Drink resbonsibly
10. Call a family member and talk about the recent rainfall in your area.
2. Read a book
3. Catch up on your favorite television series
4. Build a fort in your living room.
5. Finish your autobiography.
6. Write a song.
7. Take on a baking challenge.
8. Dance Party!
9. Drink resbonsibly
10. Call a family member and talk about the recent rainfall in your area.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Certain Things Should Be Clarified Before Trying To Teach Children The Constitution
1. "Okay class. What is the Constitution?" "Is that when you can't go poop?"
2. "Anyone else? Yes." "It's not about boo boo. It's about 9/11."
3. "Can someone give me an example of Justice?" "Is it like your rights." "Yes. Anyone else?" "Your Lefts?"
4. "What is Tranquility?" "It's like when you want an animal to go to sleep, you shoot it with a Tranquility gun."
5. "Can anyone tell me what promotion means?" "To get a better job?" "So what does it mean to promote freedom?" "To change the channel?"
6. "I thought posterity was the way you stand. Sometimes my mom says to have good posterity." "No. That's posture."
7. "Isn't it supposed to be We are the people?"
8. "We honor our country by being a good patriot." "Did you see the Patriots whoop up on the Dolphins last night?"
9. "Dude you just let the flag touch the ground. Now they're gonna burn you."
10. "Salute from your temple? I thought this was a school."
2. "Anyone else? Yes." "It's not about boo boo. It's about 9/11."
3. "Can someone give me an example of Justice?" "Is it like your rights." "Yes. Anyone else?" "Your Lefts?"
4. "What is Tranquility?" "It's like when you want an animal to go to sleep, you shoot it with a Tranquility gun."
5. "Can anyone tell me what promotion means?" "To get a better job?" "So what does it mean to promote freedom?" "To change the channel?"
6. "I thought posterity was the way you stand. Sometimes my mom says to have good posterity." "No. That's posture."
7. "Isn't it supposed to be We are the people?"
8. "We honor our country by being a good patriot." "Did you see the Patriots whoop up on the Dolphins last night?"
9. "Dude you just let the flag touch the ground. Now they're gonna burn you."
10. "Salute from your temple? I thought this was a school."
Monday, September 12, 2011
10 Good Television Show Theme Songs
1. The A-Team
2. Cheers
3. Facts of Life
4. Diff'rent Strokes
5. Golden Girls
6. MASH
7. The Jeffersons
8. Fresh Prince
9. Hawaii Five-O
10. Sanford and Son
2. Cheers
3. Facts of Life
4. Diff'rent Strokes
5. Golden Girls
6. MASH
7. The Jeffersons
8. Fresh Prince
9. Hawaii Five-O
10. Sanford and Son
10 "Crosses"
1. Cross Country
2. Crossbow
3. Cross Colors
4. David Cross
5. Double Cross
6. Triple Cross
7. Crossword Puzzle
8. Cross Fit
9. Cross Cut
10. Cross Your Heart
2. Crossbow
3. Cross Colors
4. David Cross
5. Double Cross
6. Triple Cross
7. Crossword Puzzle
8. Cross Fit
9. Cross Cut
10. Cross Your Heart
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Friday Night Recap
1. I got out danced by a white boy.
2. I had Hemingway creep up on me.
3. I concocted a robot in my living room.
4. I deconstructed some potato fries.
5. I kept reliving the pivotal move that cost me the dance competition.
6. I called Craig O'neill to explain my evening festivities. He was unimpressed.
7. I hung out with my brother, which is rare these days.
8. I was involved in a freestyle dance party with some of the best dancers in Little Rock.
9. My wife once again proved that her dancing skills are far superior to mine.
10. I fell asleep at 9:30 p.m.
2. I had Hemingway creep up on me.
3. I concocted a robot in my living room.
4. I deconstructed some potato fries.
5. I kept reliving the pivotal move that cost me the dance competition.
6. I called Craig O'neill to explain my evening festivities. He was unimpressed.
7. I hung out with my brother, which is rare these days.
8. I was involved in a freestyle dance party with some of the best dancers in Little Rock.
9. My wife once again proved that her dancing skills are far superior to mine.
10. I fell asleep at 9:30 p.m.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
10 Things My Father Taught Me
1. Willie Nelson is a great guitar player.
2. Chickens attract rats.
3. Scrambled egg and mustard sandwiches are delicious.
4. You can make a cake on a barbeque grill.
5. Running a trout line is not real fishing, but it's fun.
6. The Dallas Cowboys are supposed to win the Super Bowl every year.
7. Be a good listener so that you can insert puns when necessary.
8. How to tell a joke... slowly.
9. The locations of all the best breakfast dives in North Texas.
10. How to be a great father.
2. Chickens attract rats.
3. Scrambled egg and mustard sandwiches are delicious.
4. You can make a cake on a barbeque grill.
5. Running a trout line is not real fishing, but it's fun.
6. The Dallas Cowboys are supposed to win the Super Bowl every year.
7. Be a good listener so that you can insert puns when necessary.
8. How to tell a joke... slowly.
9. The locations of all the best breakfast dives in North Texas.
10. How to be a great father.
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