Thursday, December 29, 2011

10 Company Ad Slogans

1. "We'll leave the light on for you."

2. "We'll pick you up."

3. "Taste the rainbow."

4. "Follow my nose."

5. "What can brown do for you?"

6. "Melt in your mouth, not in your hands.

7. "Reach out and touch someone."

8. "Sometimes you feel like a nut."

9. "Head for the mountains."

10. "Dig 'em!"

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

10 Things That are "Dirty"

1. Dancing

2. Deeds

3. Sean

4. Zach

5. Sanchez

6. Jobs

7. Jokes

8. Truth

9. Dozen

10. Martini

Sunday, December 18, 2011

My Interstate Soundtrack For This Short AR to TX Trip

1. Queens of the Stone Age

2. Brother Andy and His Big Damn Mouth

3. Dirt Bag

4. Aloe Blacc

5. Loretta Lynn

6. My Morning Jacket

7. Slobberbone

8. Archers of Loaf

9. Roots

10. Centro-matic

Friday, December 16, 2011

Christmas Gifts That People Went Crazy for in the 1990's

1. Furby

2. Tickle me Elmo

3. Beanie Babies

4. Pokemon

5. TMNT Action Figures

6. Pogs

7. Nintendo Gameboy

8. Lazer Tag

9. Starter Jackets

10. Reebok Pumps

Thursday, December 15, 2011

10 Names for Where You Do Your Business

1. Head

2. Loo

3. Commode

4. Crapper

5. John

6. Potty

7. Toilet

8. Throne

9. Thunderbox

10. Oval Office

Monday, December 12, 2011

10 Unusual Combinations

1. Prostitute + Orphanage = Whorphanage

2. Bank Robber + Church = Church of Heist

3. Seizure + Salad = Seizure Salad

4. Exam + Eye Wear = Testicles

5. Desert Animal + Misteltoe = Cameltoe

6. Cross Dresser + Postal Worker = Femail Man

7. Epileptic + Chef = Shake and Bake

8. Feminine Products + Funyons = Tampyons

9. Old Spice + Molasses = Oldasses

10. Monistat + Stationary = Monestary

Sunday, December 11, 2011

10 Diff'rent Strokes Guest Appearances

1. Mahammad Ali

2. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

3. Mr. T

4. Janet Jackson

5. Nancy Reagan

6. Andrew Dice Clay

7. David Hasselhoff

8. Forest Whitaker

9. Ed "Too Tall" Jones

10. Robin Givens

Friday, December 9, 2011

10 Ways to Get Canned

1. No call. No show.

2. Always get sick on Monday

3. Complain about your job on Facebook

4. Get drunk on your lunch break

5. Sleep on the clock

6. Take an extra long lunch everyday

7. Every time your boss asks you to do something say, "That's not part of my job description."

8. Borrow stuff from your co workers, and sell it on Ebay.

9. Post inappropriate photos of yourself online.

10. Drunk dial your boss. 

Thursday, December 8, 2011

10 Fads of the Last Decade

1. Texting

2. Flash Mobs

3. Sudoku

4. Social Networks

5. Bluetooth

6. Crocs

7. Uggs

8. Texas Hold'em Poker

9. Emo

10. DVR/Tivo

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

10 Butlers/Housekeepers

1. Mr. Belvedere

2. Waylon Smithers (The Simpsons)

3. Geoffrey Butler (Fresh Prince)

4. Florence (The Jeffersons)

5. Benson Dubois (Benson)

6. Tony Micelli (Who's the Boss)

7. Nell Harper (Gimme a Break)

8. Alice (The Brady Bunch)

9. Rosy (The Jetsons)

10. Mrs. Garrett (Diff'rent Strokes)

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

10 Most Recognizable Programs in College Football

1. Texas Longhorns

2. Ohio State Buckeyes

3. Florida Gators

4. Georgia Bulldogs

5. Alabama Crimson Tide

6. LSU Tigers

7. Penn State Nittany Lions

8. Michigan Wolverines

9. Notre Dame Fighting Irish

10. USC/Oklahoma

Notice Kansas State is not on the list. I guess they are not the most recognizable team behind Notre Dame.

Monday, December 5, 2011

10 Quotes from Lizard Lick Towing

1. "You have to love him because it's illegal to kill him."

2. "Do I look as good as my word now?"

3. "We just kicked a real fresh turd on a real hot day."

4. "I was more happy to see her than a blind dog in a meat house."

5. "You'd rather get in a knife fight in a phone booth with Freddy Kruger than tangle with me."

6. "The last thing I need is to mess with some backwoods hillbilly who's gonna hand me my tailbone and tell me how to cook it."

7. "She's madder than a wet hen at an omelet scramble."

8. "I know you're all roostered up, but I ain't feeling your cock-a-doodle-do."

9. "A lot of times I been fishin' bo, but I ain't never felt like the bait."

10. "He had more rolls than a New York bakery."

Friday, December 2, 2011

10 Streets South of Markham in Order from East to West without Looking

1. Johnson

2. Rosetta

3. Brown

4. Martin

5. Valmar

6. Valentine

7. Maple

8. Oak

9. Pine

10. Cedar

Thursday, December 1, 2011

10 Topics to Avoid at the Dinner Table

1. Religion

2. Politics

3. Sex

4. Finances

5. Medical Conditions

6. Abortion

7. Bowel Movements

8. Work

9.  The Duggers

10. Genocide