I. To add sunshine wherever there is a ray of darkness.
II. Gain access to "Sex and the City" seasons I and II.
III. Unprotected sex with my wife.
IV. Gay Marriage is illegal in Arkansas
V. I'm too old to be on the "Real World".
VI. To sleep in a bed not requiring an air pump.
VII. In order not to have an illegitimate child.
VIII. Subscription to "Cosmo".
IX. To laugh at all the lonely losers.
X. Sweet Craig O'Neill hook-ups.
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