10 Quotes From a Cafeteria Clerk Named Birdy

1. "Hey Birdy. Why is the pizza square?"       "Same reason you are, I suppose."

2. "Is the ice free Birdy?"               " Birdy don't charge you for a good piece of ice."

3. "It don't look like you have much room left for any more food."    "Yeah I packed my tray pretty full."
    "It looks like you packed yourself pretty full as well."

4. "Next time someone hits you now, don't you hit him back. Kids in In School Suspension have to wait longer to eat. Birdy ain't trying to hurt nobody's feelings, but I know you don't like to wait to eat."

5. "Are you gonna ask that girl to prom or what?"    " I don't know Birdy. I probably won't go to prom."
    "What? You may as well say you ain't going to church on Sunday."

6. "I've been working here for a lot of years.  We've had plenty of perfect football seasons. Perfect losing seasons."

7. "For someone who has so much change, you ain't got much sense."

8. "Hey Birdy. I brought you a donut this morning."       "No thank you baby. There's a few things I've learned working at this school. Never break up a fight. Never give a kid a ride home. And never accept food from children. You just never know. You know."

9. "You still playing basketball."    "Yes."    "Well then I guess you should quit smoking before I tell your mother. You smell like an ashtray. Girls don't like that."

10. "Well be careful around those fireworks this summer. I'll see you next year, if your lucky."