Friday, April 29, 2011

10 Self Diagnosed Disorders

1. OCD-  I click my teeth in patterns of eight.

2. Insomnia- I have to force my self to fall asleep at night. If I am awoken for any reason I can't go back to sleep.

3. Old Man Hands- Hereditary wrinkly hands. It looks like I have been working with my hands my entire life. I assure you, this is not the case.

4. Driving Induced Tourette Syndrome- I break into cursing fits of rage while behind the wheel.

5. Noassatall- I get this from my daddy. No ass at all.

6. Wheat Allergies- Every time I drink a lot of beer, I feel horrible the next day. I must be allergic to the wheat.

7. Garliquetivitis-  No matter what I wash with I still wind up smelling like garlic at the end of each day.

8. ESP- I see things two or three steps ahead sometimes. I can't win the f**ing lottery though.

9. Social Disorder- I sometimes feel awkward or I have social impairment when in public situations.

10. ADHD- I never stop moving. I am always fidgeting.

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