Sunday, February 13, 2011

10 Things I Learned in Church

1. There is no place to hide if you cut one.

2. The only way to get rid of an erection is to "Pray Hard."

3. We are all sinners.

4. Moses parted the sea.

5. If you talk during prayer you will go to hell.

6. If the Dallas Cowboys are playing, the sermon is usually cut in half.

7. I learned an entire Paula Abdul album during a lock in just to get close to a girl. I still like "Cold Hearted Snake."

8. Singing like Goofy makes my sister laugh.

9. Old people carry two things in their purses/pockets. Peppermints and change.

10. Dancing is the gateway to sex.

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